When your life becomes demanding, when you have a full schedule seven days of the week, when you feel like you never have time for entertainment, try what I do. When I don’t have time to see a movie or go to a concert or get belligerently drunk, I listen carefully to people around me and on television because there is one thing I know for absolute certain; someone is bound to say something so absurdly, undeniably, inherently stupid, that I will have no choice but to laugh.
Idiot says, “Gay people shouldn’t be allowed to get married, that’s just wrong.”
You recover from laughing and say, “You’re a bleeping idiot.”
It’s guaranteed to make your day better every time. In fact, I recently encountered a list of reasons why gay marriage shouldn’t be legalized and I had the same hysteria inducing reaction to many of them. Hopefully the shortened list below will brighten your day.
1. “Marriage is already threatened with high divorce rates (between 40% and 50%) (851 KB) and with 40.6% of babies being born to unmarried mothers (312 KB) in 2008. Allowing same-sex couples to marry would further weaken the institution.”
My reaction, post laughter, to this would have to be stupefied disbelief. What you’re saying is you think the institution of marriage could be further weakened? WE’RE ALREADY AT 50%, HOW MUCH WEAKER COULD IT GET? Obviously something isn’t working, but I’d say that increasing the number of possible marriages would also increase the possibility of success.
2. “Marriage is not a right. Society can choose to endorse certain types of sexual arrangements and give support in the form of benefits to these arrangements. Marriage was created to allow society to support heterosexual couples in procreation and society can choose not to give the same benefits to same-sex couples.”
As long as we’re on the subject of taking away rights, or freedoms of expression, I don’t think you should be allowed to speak…ever again.
3. “Gay marriage is incompatible with the beliefs, sacred texts, and traditions of many religious groups. The Catholic Church, Presbyterian Church, Islam, United Methodist Church, Southern Baptist Convention, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, National Association of Evangelicals, and American Baptist Churches USA all oppose same-sex marriage. Expanding marriage to include same-sex couples may lead to churches being forced to marry couples and children being taught in school that same-sex marriage is the same as opposite-sex marriage.”
Last time I checked there was a little something in the constitution about the church and state being separate…oh and you don’t have to get married in a church. Not to mention, it would be up to the actual church to decide if it wanted to marry a couple, no matter what gender, and if they are willing to do it who are you to say no? Also, if marriage is a bonding union between two people, aren’t same-sex marriage and opposite-sex marriage already the same thing?
Yes I do understand that some people might frown upon me laughing at others, but in cases like these, I can’t help it. And hey, everyone deserves a little entertainment right?